Age

Ok it’s not strictly a networking topic but it has come up frequently in my peer mentoring discussions.

Scenario one: a friend who looks a little older and more tired than she is applied for a management job. The phone interview was fantastic. The hiring manager said how hard it was to find someone with her qualifications and they could afford her salary. So they met. And the same hiring manager couldn’t keep his face from falling. When prompted he said he didn’t realize my friend was so “old”. She didn’t get the job.

Question: Why is it accepted that Gen X and Y do (and expect to) change jobs every 2 - 4 years but older folks have to have at least 15 good years on offer?
(no, it wasn’t a job that age, gender or appearance would in anyway hinder anyone)

Scenario two: A friend who looks younger than she is has been counseled recently to not “rush” her career advancement, that there is plenty of time. There is 5 years difference between the friends in scenario one and two.

Question: If the ability and experience is there, should age matter?

All the planning there is can be stopped in the face of age discrimination. We can discuss and support but I’m sorry to say that brick walls exists where none should be. Spread the word and let’s keep chipping away it. (or blow it up if you can!)

Social Media I - the teen years

These days, I feel it’s fair to spoil my kid rotten in exchange for being able to tell stories about teenagers - not always to a teen’s advantage. It started when he was 2 years old and barfed a pile of half-eaten gummy bears on my bed. That became the opening for a full-length stage play. Of course, since he was unaware of the hilarity his antics added to my storytelling, I didn’t feel the need to shower him with lattes, hair gel and snowboarding gear at the time. Ah, simpler times.

I enjoy observing teens, especially mine: their mating habits; eating forays; homework avoidance techniques (later perfected in the workplace); and the ebb and flow of their social structures.

What is amazing is that his generation grew up with computers. Not just a home computer, but computers and chips and technology just about everywhere: tv remotes and picture-in-picture; cell phones; Interac; digital music players… the list is long. He effortlessly uses and pushes the technology in ways that I don’t even think to go.

His friendships are conducted via text messages, Facebook, and YouTube uploads. Email is considered old-fashioned and clunky by teen standards. He belongs to on-line groups and stays in touch with current events (as relates to teen concerns) via virtual communication means.

The other day he emerged from his cave with his red hair sprayed dark black. He informed me it was “National Kick a Ginger Day” and that a large Facebook posting had his friends sending warnings all night. It takes me 2months to read my Facebook stuff. His cell phone delivers updates.

Friendships are made, lost and expanded via 1 or 2 lines of text, spelled creatively and delivered via a cell phone screen. Parties, gatherings and meetings are sent virally within hours (if not minutes). He “speaks” to more than a dozen people an evening and never gets up from his favourite TV show.

Is that multi-tasking or networking at the next level?

I’ve been asked a great deal what role ‘social networking’ should play in networking. I don’t think there’s an obvious answer. I don’t even think that everyone understands what ‘social networking’ is or what’s involved.

Even technology professionals are divided on this debate.

It’s only clear to teenagers…or so I thought.

My son - without my knowing - is actually interested in the concept of building personal community and secretly reads my blog. He read an earlier draft of this posting and suggested that he could have all the tools taken away for one good coffee with someone.

No matter how the generations are divided across their styles and tools, one approach remains the ultimate in ‘social networking’: face to face.

Ambition and Responsibility

I read (in a murder mystery no less) that today women are given men’s ambition and women’s responsibilities.

I’m not a stay-at-home mom and I’m pleased my son is none the worse for wear. While I love creating and writing in isolation, I need the interaction of the collective to take my theories into fact. That’s true of me as a playwright and director; it’s doubly true of me as a public speaker; and it is certainly true of me as a business manager.

Is my drive to talk about ideas in a larger forum a male ambition? No. It’s simply how I am. (My dearest friend is a stay-at-home mom and her son has done equally well. She thrives in the relative solitude and has produced some amazing things.)

Sometimes, expectations are thrust upon me - “you should do X” or “you must become proficient at Y to succeed”. If I agree to take on those expectations but they don’t become ingrained as part of my own goals, perhaps it’s then that I’m trying to live up to someone else’s model.

But otherwise, my ambitions are no one’s but my own!

Women’s responsibilities are well documented: family care; elder care; household duties to name three of the top items that occupy a women’s day. As much as society has evolved, studies still show women as primary caregivers in these areas.

I am trying to imagine a world where a line thrust ambition solely on men and responsibility solely on women. I think both sides would protest loudly. Ambition itself comes with responsibilities - whether the ambitions lie in friendship; parenting; partners; or business. Relationships and caring come with ambition - to do it well; better; efficiently; joyously.

While building my personal community, I have been careful not to fill it with people who make the same choices as me. I revel in everyone’s version of ambition and I debate solutions for all versions of responsibilities. That’s how I learn. That’s what I hope I pass on to my mentorees.

Ambition and responsibility are building blocks of any woman's life and are never merely given to us from external sources with any expectations but our own.