WAM

I had a fabulous evening in Washington DC a little while ago. They are the DC chapter of a terrific group called Women Advancing Microfinance. http://www.wam-international.org

We met to talk about the importance of mentoring and how to start approaching a mentoring relationship. (We did have drinks so the topic of shoes also came up)

There were as many approaches to the mentoring relationship as there were women at the table. It was exciting.

I came away feeling really confident about:
• What are women great at doing? Building communities - personal communities that incorporate the private and the professional, the intimate and the public.

• How? By gathering family, friends and neighbours co-workers around the table and hosting a conversation. Call it the kitchen table, the conference table or the patio - we’re great at getting folks talking and sharing.

• We’re natural facilitators - giving as much as we receive. Making folks comfortable. Encouraging conversation and debate.

• The same tools that make us good as facilitators should make us natural mentors. We’re not we’re always mentoring when we gather a table.

• Let’s call this ability to gather a table: peer to peer mentoring (P2P).

• P2P simply put – it’s about creating the various tables & circles of folks with whom you share information, successes, failures and the questions.

• It’s folks of your level (social, professional – choose the designation) with whom you can debate the questions.

• It’s about what we can do for each other on a regular basis: listening, feedback, ideas, anything. It’s not just about exchanging our own skills - but helping connect others. Who knows a leadership book that’s engaging to read? Who attends a great speaker series? Where’s a great place to buy an affordable and attractive suit? (See me)

• That’s building personal community. That’s everyday mentoring. You probably do it already.

Mentoring is about expanding your community and adding to or developing someone else’s. They expanded mine in DC.

Guilt

You'll possibly empathize with this... I haven't had any time this week to do what I was supposed to do or support my community (thus only 2 postings!).

So what have I been up to? Lots of planning....
* participated in a brief but intense discussion on 'accountability'.
* talked in numerous meetings about how to get communities 'engaged'.
* sent out the invitations for my next Toronto networking event.
* met with a new mentoree.
* had a great leadership brainstorm with a good friend.
* paid attention to my kid and his summer plans.
* worked. slept. ate.

And yet I'm obsessed that I didn't do enough. I feel guilty. I have another list of what I did not do this week.

I know we all have those days. So how to get through them?

Ask yourself: Did I do what was most important this week vs. what was expected?

It is easy to get bogged down in expectations. Sometimes the most productive thing you can do is stop the output. (see Aug posting - Learning to be Idle). Sometimes it's just sticking to priorities and ignoring fires. Sometimes it's just ... well, a break.

Given the cool new ideas I collected this week, it was worth a little guilt!

Leadership - top down or up?

Given that the tradition ladder-like, hierarchical approach to running companies is now running its course, then the next iteration is to view leadership as concentric circles. The individual (me) is always at the centre. I am influenced by those things positioned closest to me.

As per web 2.0 models, you can't "make" me put you in the circle closest to me. You can show me value and progress to my inner circles.

As per web 2.0 models, I will try and extend my leadership/influence to outer rings as far as I can.

All folks' circles overlap.

A great leader, senior in an organization, can influence me if I believe in them or value their influence - they need to embody the company credos for me to believe in the company credos. The value is in the individual rather in than in any company credos.

Thus peer2peer networking and mentoring is all about leadership. (see Oct. 08 Peer to Peer and Feb. 09 Why a Circle?)

Oh how many bottles of wine could we finish while debating this question!