We've heard about viral marketing campaigns... we know rumours are viral.... we know germs spread while you're not even looking (sleeve sneeze anyone?)...
But really, your influence is viral. The recommendations we make, the comments we offer and the ideas we share are often repeated and spread. Ok, not always in their orginal form, but usually with the credit attached.
So you're not just affecting, supporting, helping one person. Your participation creates a ripple.
Be generous with your influence; infect your communities thoroughly and with good cheer.
Friday, June 12, 2009
Wednesday, June 10, 2009
Open Conversations
I spend lots of time talking about greetings ... but yes, there's a whole other piece called the actual conversation that probably needs a few words.
If you think about the better conversations you have, they probably feel like you both listened and shared in equal measures. The problem comes when you try and figure out how to make that happen deliberately.
You've heard of open questions - a great technique for getting teenagers to talk with their parents more (lol)? The premise is that you only ask questions that cannot be answered with a simple "yes" or "no".
Sometimes even that fails as folks still answer with one or two words and no explanation. You can't change someone else's behaviour but you can monitor your own.
The next time you're looking to really engage someone in open conversation, try a few of these:
AND
If you're asked a question that merits a one word response... follow with the word "and". Allow "and" to be a link to an explanation of your answer - a story, an anecdote or even a follow on question. That way if you're faced with someone who is also fumbling in the conversation, you have an easy technique to keep it going till you reach easier times.
Make Everyone Look Good
Chances are you won't agree with much of what folks tell you. When you meet them, is it more important to connect or to debate? You don't have to agree but you don't have to point out the obvious flaws in their logic either. "Thanks for bringing that up. It reminds me of an article..." "You've obviously thought about this. So have I. Do you think we're the only two?" etc. Keep it light and keep it moving till you know them well enough to get into the finer points.
No Perfect Answer
I'm still working on this one myself... There's no perfect/right/wrong answer to a question. Conversation is discussion - not closed proclamation to closed proclamation. You can explain yourself. You can elaborate. Speak from your gut. Fumble a bit. That's always more interesting. More nerve wracking, but interesting.
Keep the conversation flowing like a good tennis game... and don't worry about being an ace player.
If you think about the better conversations you have, they probably feel like you both listened and shared in equal measures. The problem comes when you try and figure out how to make that happen deliberately.
You've heard of open questions - a great technique for getting teenagers to talk with their parents more (lol)? The premise is that you only ask questions that cannot be answered with a simple "yes" or "no".
Sometimes even that fails as folks still answer with one or two words and no explanation. You can't change someone else's behaviour but you can monitor your own.
The next time you're looking to really engage someone in open conversation, try a few of these:
AND
If you're asked a question that merits a one word response... follow with the word "and". Allow "and" to be a link to an explanation of your answer - a story, an anecdote or even a follow on question. That way if you're faced with someone who is also fumbling in the conversation, you have an easy technique to keep it going till you reach easier times.
Make Everyone Look Good
Chances are you won't agree with much of what folks tell you. When you meet them, is it more important to connect or to debate? You don't have to agree but you don't have to point out the obvious flaws in their logic either. "Thanks for bringing that up. It reminds me of an article..." "You've obviously thought about this. So have I. Do you think we're the only two?" etc. Keep it light and keep it moving till you know them well enough to get into the finer points.
No Perfect Answer
I'm still working on this one myself... There's no perfect/right/wrong answer to a question. Conversation is discussion - not closed proclamation to closed proclamation. You can explain yourself. You can elaborate. Speak from your gut. Fumble a bit. That's always more interesting. More nerve wracking, but interesting.
Keep the conversation flowing like a good tennis game... and don't worry about being an ace player.
Sunday, June 7, 2009
Helping your mentor
Just because your mentor is an expert in somethings, don't assume she knows everything and everyone. As mentoring is supposed to be active on both sides of the relationship, here's a few things you can do to help.
1 - Don't assume your mentor has already combed their network for the right connection for you and your current questions.
Always ask your mentor "Who else could I talk to about this?"
On the flip side - don't be afraid to offer your mentor new people with whom they can connect. We don't know everyone in the world... yet...
2 - Don't assume your mentor is an encyclopedia.
Always ask your mentor "What associations/groups/websites might be worth exploring on this topic?" Don't assume your mentor will hand you everything in one neat package.
On the flip side - bring your mentor good sources you find! We're always looking for fresh insight too.
3 - Don't assume your mentor's network is boundless.
Invite your mentor to explore some of the events and meet new people with you.
On the flip side - make sure you've investigated the sources your mentor has offered you before suggesting exploring the unknown.
4 - Don't assume your mentor is a strong networker.
It's a difficult skill at the best of times. I am the consummate "reluctant networker" and people come to me for advice!
It seems to be an assumption that with mentoring comes networking and invitation to new folks. But, sometimes, the focus is on a one on one discussion of the subject matter only.
Discuss your questions around networking and ask for advice... but on the flip side... ask your mentor what their challenges and hesitations have been and how they've been overcome (or not).
1 - Don't assume your mentor has already combed their network for the right connection for you and your current questions.
Always ask your mentor "Who else could I talk to about this?"
On the flip side - don't be afraid to offer your mentor new people with whom they can connect. We don't know everyone in the world... yet...
2 - Don't assume your mentor is an encyclopedia.
Always ask your mentor "What associations/groups/websites might be worth exploring on this topic?" Don't assume your mentor will hand you everything in one neat package.
On the flip side - bring your mentor good sources you find! We're always looking for fresh insight too.
3 - Don't assume your mentor's network is boundless.
Invite your mentor to explore some of the events and meet new people with you.
On the flip side - make sure you've investigated the sources your mentor has offered you before suggesting exploring the unknown.
4 - Don't assume your mentor is a strong networker.
It's a difficult skill at the best of times. I am the consummate "reluctant networker" and people come to me for advice!
It seems to be an assumption that with mentoring comes networking and invitation to new folks. But, sometimes, the focus is on a one on one discussion of the subject matter only.
Discuss your questions around networking and ask for advice... but on the flip side... ask your mentor what their challenges and hesitations have been and how they've been overcome (or not).
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