I can't. I'm sorry. Brussel sprouts will taste like brussel sprouts no matter how they are cooked. You will have a taste for them, acquire one or suffer through the dish at family dinners and no amount of cheese sauce will change that fact.
I can tell you how to make it simpler. I can offer you ideas on how to set your expectations. I can suggest that a good friend coach you on how to showcase your personal style. But, if you've deemed networking as something important that must be done - then it will not suddenly become as fun as a water slide or as easy as unknowingly eating an entire ice cream sundae while having a good conversation.
I will offer a few rays of hope:
1 - like any habit, it will feel less awkward with practice.
2 - if it's part of your personal philosophy of building a community, it'll feel less artificial and more about you breaking out of your shell.
3 - see networking beyond the lense of job hunting. Networking is something to do everyday, all the time. Networking is how you find a new restaurant, a better yoga studio, a more interesting squash partner, a key business study/answer.
4 - Networking is not about the schmooze or the fake. Networking is giving and recieving within your communities to everyone's gain.
Wednesday, July 8, 2009
Monday, July 6, 2009
Know your skills - the ones you enjoy!
Like taking a seasonal inventory of your closet, you need to poke into the corners of your mind on a regular basis.
I was reminded of this over the weekend when a wonderful lunch turned into an impromptu and exciting job interview. Some of my answers were rusty ... shame on me!
I usually ask myself the questions below. My answers change like my taste in shoes - I'll always wear a pair but somedays it'll be Birks and others a pair of patent leather tomato-red heels. Regardless, I should always know what is in my closet!
Knowing yourself at this point in time:
1. What can I do? (list job skills, hobbies, interests, volunteer experience, etc.)
2. In which of these things do I excel? (subset of #1)
3. For which of these things would I like to become more skilled? (subset of #1)
4. Which of these things do I love to do? (subset of #2)
5. What do I think others come to me for most often? (subset of #1)
Note which skills (if any) are not picked up from #1 by the end of this exercise.
* Stop including them in your self-promotion.
Note which skills might be using to create a training plan that could reading, mentoring, networking, courses, etc.
* Draft that plan.
Note how much of an overlap is evident between list #4 & #1. Between #4 & #2. Between #4 & #5.
* Try to shorten the gap between 4 & 1 and 4 & 2.
* Try to promote yourself from your areas of joy.
The next time someone asks what you have to contribute, you can take your top 3 items from list #4 and back it up with the other lists ... instead of the other way around like we usually do!
I was reminded of this over the weekend when a wonderful lunch turned into an impromptu and exciting job interview. Some of my answers were rusty ... shame on me!
I usually ask myself the questions below. My answers change like my taste in shoes - I'll always wear a pair but somedays it'll be Birks and others a pair of patent leather tomato-red heels. Regardless, I should always know what is in my closet!
Knowing yourself at this point in time:
1. What can I do? (list job skills, hobbies, interests, volunteer experience, etc.)
2. In which of these things do I excel? (subset of #1)
3. For which of these things would I like to become more skilled? (subset of #1)
4. Which of these things do I love to do? (subset of #2)
5. What do I think others come to me for most often? (subset of #1)
Note which skills (if any) are not picked up from #1 by the end of this exercise.
* Stop including them in your self-promotion.
Note which skills might be using to create a training plan that could reading, mentoring, networking, courses, etc.
* Draft that plan.
Note how much of an overlap is evident between list #4 & #1. Between #4 & #2. Between #4 & #5.
* Try to shorten the gap between 4 & 1 and 4 & 2.
* Try to promote yourself from your areas of joy.
The next time someone asks what you have to contribute, you can take your top 3 items from list #4 and back it up with the other lists ... instead of the other way around like we usually do!
Friday, July 3, 2009
Collaboration is best
I’m back on the whole consensus vs. collaboration debate. Someone remarked to me that women are great at consensus. She then leaned closer and confided quietly that it was a great opening line and what did I think?
Ack. It made me firmly stick to my belief that ”consensus” is right up there with “accountability” as my least favourite buzzwords this year.
I think the fairytale that everyone will agree - finally - on everything discussed is silly. I also don’t think that women are any better at consensus than men. I think most of us are just not willing to voice strong, doubting opinions in public as readily as our facial hair-endowed counterparts. I know I get royally pounded when I do (but I keep doing it…).
Collaborating, on the other hand, implies you were at least heard (if you voiced an opinion) even if your opinion was discarded. I think women are great at collaboration. Most days I just want to know that my opinion was considered before it was discounted rather than feel uncomfortable voicing an unusual/unpopular view when everyone else seems to be ‘agreeing’.
Half the time I think consensus is achieved simply because no one is speaking up. And that’s not good for anyone.
Ack. It made me firmly stick to my belief that ”consensus” is right up there with “accountability” as my least favourite buzzwords this year.
I think the fairytale that everyone will agree - finally - on everything discussed is silly. I also don’t think that women are any better at consensus than men. I think most of us are just not willing to voice strong, doubting opinions in public as readily as our facial hair-endowed counterparts. I know I get royally pounded when I do (but I keep doing it…).
Collaborating, on the other hand, implies you were at least heard (if you voiced an opinion) even if your opinion was discarded. I think women are great at collaboration. Most days I just want to know that my opinion was considered before it was discounted rather than feel uncomfortable voicing an unusual/unpopular view when everyone else seems to be ‘agreeing’.
Half the time I think consensus is achieved simply because no one is speaking up. And that’s not good for anyone.
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