You wouldn't send a fundraising letter without an explanation of the value to the larger community. You wouldn't address this letter "to whom it may concern". You probably would try to connect with the person face-to-face before making a hard pitch. You certainly wouldn't make it sound needy, whiny, or bitter.
So why (oh why!!!) do folks think it's ok to walk up to others at events and, after a 2 minute superficial introduction, ask for a job/purchase of services/reference?
Honestly, we take more time debating a menu selection!
If working with someone is like a marriage... and referring someone a reflection of your own personal brand... the fact that I like your glasses or you think my story about teenagers was funny is not shortcut to being on each other's list of BFFs.
Life is not best served by making everything end in a transaction (sometimes yes, but not most). Build the relationship THEN work through the possible scenarios.
Friday, January 8, 2010
Wednesday, January 6, 2010
The smartest person in the room
I read an article somewhere this holiday season that said "It's such a relief when you don't have to prove yourself to be the smartest person in the room." (true to the sentiment, I wrote down the quote but not the source... lol)
Which reminded me of how I am asking myself a few questions before I open my mouth at meetings and events. (Well, at least I'm trying harder to do this...)
I ask myself:
* Do folks really need to know what I think or should I just be listening?
* Is it more important for me to show off or shut up?
* Will I be contributing or just trying to show I know what they know?
* Can I make anyone else look good by my contribution or my silence?
Being smart and having to show you're smart are two different beasts. I've finally realized that folks can see we're intelligent without us having to jump into conversations all the time. (Sometimes we might even look cleverer staying silent!)
Helping others express themselves, get credit for ideas and showcase their talents reflects just as well on you as taking the limelight yourself.
Most importantly, it's hard work to always take the lead and appear at the top of your game. Relax. After all, the smartest people know how to make mistakes!
Which reminded me of how I am asking myself a few questions before I open my mouth at meetings and events. (Well, at least I'm trying harder to do this...)
I ask myself:
* Do folks really need to know what I think or should I just be listening?
* Is it more important for me to show off or shut up?
* Will I be contributing or just trying to show I know what they know?
* Can I make anyone else look good by my contribution or my silence?
Being smart and having to show you're smart are two different beasts. I've finally realized that folks can see we're intelligent without us having to jump into conversations all the time. (Sometimes we might even look cleverer staying silent!)
Helping others express themselves, get credit for ideas and showcase their talents reflects just as well on you as taking the limelight yourself.
Most importantly, it's hard work to always take the lead and appear at the top of your game. Relax. After all, the smartest people know how to make mistakes!
Monday, January 4, 2010
Quotes on change
Nothing like a few quotes on change to remind you that the year has barely begun and yet it's all changing again... Here's a few of my favourites for when my mind needs to spin a little.
"A change in the weather is sufficient to recreate the world and ourselves." Marcel Proust
"Change is the only constant. Hanging on is the only sin." Denise McCluggage (have to love that name!)
Change is inevitable - except from a vending machine. Robert C. Gallagher
There is a certain relief in change, even though it be from bad to worse! As I have often found in travelling in a stagecoach, that it is often a comfort to shift one's position, and be bruised in a new place. Washington Irving
If you want to forget all your other troubles, wear too tight shoes. The Houghton Line, November 1965
"A change in the weather is sufficient to recreate the world and ourselves." Marcel Proust
"Change is the only constant. Hanging on is the only sin." Denise McCluggage (have to love that name!)
Change is inevitable - except from a vending machine. Robert C. Gallagher
There is a certain relief in change, even though it be from bad to worse! As I have often found in travelling in a stagecoach, that it is often a comfort to shift one's position, and be bruised in a new place. Washington Irving
If you want to forget all your other troubles, wear too tight shoes. The Houghton Line, November 1965
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