Is it networking if you have to shout?

Call me silly but I don't know that one can really network in a room so loud and crowded that you can't hear the person shouting next to you.

The room was hip. The sponsor was on the ball. The crowd was eclectic. But there was no room to move - folks lined up down the stairs - and then the music started playing. The lack of space and noise level kept folks only talking to those they already knew and could comfortably yell into their faces.

All of us who hold events wrestle with the same things: how many is too many? how much fun? how much facilitation? what exactly is a networking event to a particular crowd?

If folks will mostly talk to those they know - do events need some hands-on guidance beyond simply being thrown into one room?

Call it "facilitating" or being a "hosting", would you prefer an event where:

• Someone actively introduced pairs around the room throughout the event?
• Room chatter was periodically broken with a message, a door prize or a piece of information to give a natural break in which you could circulate?
• Attendees were guided and encouraged around networking before and during the event beyond simply being in the same room?

I don't know that there is a one-size-fits-all answer. I am interested in what you think makes a successful event!

It's ok to make a 'break' part of the plan

Yes, there was a lag on the blog. Sometimes life gets in the way - most notably when we celebrate the end of someone's life. We take a deep breath and then pick the daily pieces back up.

It shouldn't take a major event to create permission to stop for a moment. In our planning and networking for careers and lives, a breather can be as refreshing as achieving a milestone.

So a once-in-a-while breather should also be in your personal development plan.

Before my friend died, he pointed out to me that it was ok to stop now and then. If you have truly achieved some momentum in life, coasting for a moment will not have any harmful effect. In fact, coasting might provide some perspective and the capacity for a fresh idea. (I have a mentor who calls this "shower time" as he feels the only time he has to free-associate is in the shower.)

So the last 2 1/2 weeks I let the internet and world drift by without me (it seemed to do fine too... drat!). I'm recharged and you're here reading so perhaps the break was as good as a post for us both?

Mentoring and networking - all about relationships

I'm sure I must have gotten on this soapbox before?

Mentoring and networking are relationship-based and value-driven.

Seems obvious in theory but harder in practice. Relationships take time to establish trust and common goals and identifiers. Value is hard to define and very tied to an individual's goals. Usually, folks ask for mentors or start to network during a crisis when time is short and that's why the exercise gets the 'insincere' or 'grabby' labels.

I also read a lot about the process of mentoring and networking (sometimes I even write about it). But, like any process, when it hits a snag or a unique situation, it doesn't always leave you with any other tools at hand.

Basically, one falls back on relationships - the overlapping circles of your community that support you and are supported by you. The community you've been building for months/years. Everyone wants to help. Everyone wants to do the 'right thing'.... but when we're inundated with requests, we'll help those with whom we have a relationship of value first.

So practice your introductions. Know your goals. Make a long-term development plan. But understand none of this happens in isolation and all of it requires a community around you for success. So, first and foremost, build relationships - with genuine interest and caring all around.