Of course there is... there is a checklist for everything. But what I really mean by the title is that a checklist is not going to make you a master networker.
A checklist can list tasks, outline a plan or serve as a "reminder" but it can't build a relationship for you.
The shelves are full of 'how to' books on networking; some of them are even worth reading. :-) However, if an instruction sheet could solve our hesitations, fears and (sometimes) missteps for networking, we'd all be masters of the trade by now.
It all starts with "why" you are building a network which, in turn, informs "how". If you're not using a checklist to build friendships, then consider building professional relationships in the same spirit?
Thursday, May 26, 2011
Tuesday, May 24, 2011
Looking for a mentor - part 1
The debate about how senior a mentor should be to a mentoree is a tough question.
Does seniority make that person any better than someone else at anything?
Does their seniority reflect their experience, their luck or a combination?
Is mentoring better first established through the lens of seniority vs. experience?
Does what we seek from mentoring require hierarchical mentor or an experienced one?
I think many of us approach the seniority of a mentor in two ways:
1 - with a secret hope that, like a fairy godmother, the senior person will personally champion our cause and shepherd us to stardom (like an apprentice or favoured pupil)
2 - with the assumption that the because the person has seniority in an industry, that they are self-aware
Sometimes, #1 can come true. But not often. Mentoring - both sides of the relationship - involves hard work. Good mentors often have several mentorees, leaving the individuals to find and define success for themselves. Mentorees often have several mentors - who can't all take you to the top of their ladders. So #1 isn't often an ideal way to approach mentoring.
#2 still puts the onus on the person seeking mentoring. When you select a mentor, if seniority is your first criteria, you may not be clear on what you're actually seeking. You may be stuck on the #1 dream :-) A good mentor is self-aware in order to be able to share why they are successful - or at least self-aware for the areas you wish to explore.
I'm not saying that seniority isn't part of your consideration in selecting a mentor or agreeing to take on a mentoree. It just should not be the first consideration?
Does seniority make that person any better than someone else at anything?
Does their seniority reflect their experience, their luck or a combination?
Is mentoring better first established through the lens of seniority vs. experience?
Does what we seek from mentoring require hierarchical mentor or an experienced one?
I think many of us approach the seniority of a mentor in two ways:
1 - with a secret hope that, like a fairy godmother, the senior person will personally champion our cause and shepherd us to stardom (like an apprentice or favoured pupil)
2 - with the assumption that the because the person has seniority in an industry, that they are self-aware
Sometimes, #1 can come true. But not often. Mentoring - both sides of the relationship - involves hard work. Good mentors often have several mentorees, leaving the individuals to find and define success for themselves. Mentorees often have several mentors - who can't all take you to the top of their ladders. So #1 isn't often an ideal way to approach mentoring.
#2 still puts the onus on the person seeking mentoring. When you select a mentor, if seniority is your first criteria, you may not be clear on what you're actually seeking. You may be stuck on the #1 dream :-) A good mentor is self-aware in order to be able to share why they are successful - or at least self-aware for the areas you wish to explore.
I'm not saying that seniority isn't part of your consideration in selecting a mentor or agreeing to take on a mentoree. It just should not be the first consideration?
Tuesday, May 17, 2011
Twitter: Notable one-liners
Some kids wanted to be firemen or doctors. Some wanted to be great chefs or teachers. Me? I wanted to write gory murder mysteries and be immortalized like Oscar Wilde for a few great quotes.
Fast forward to 2011 and the rise of Twitter. We're learning to introduce ourselves with "elevator pitches" and be pithy in 140 characters or less. I'm becoming a big fan of the concise!
Below is a list of the Similar Circles philosophy done in Twitter-sized bites:
Women
1. I'd rather wear heels than date them.
2. Not having women around your leadership table is like having only third basemen on your baseball team. Or only eating with a knife.
3. Employees and customers are the same people. Women are employees and customers, not an afterthought or third consideration.
4. Being 'thin' is worth more salary for women? But my brain is so fat!!
5. It's never too late to speak up - icky things mostly grow in dark quiet places - raise your voice and make it harder for ick!
6. Why is 'artist' a less respected way to earn a living than 'engineer'? Why is 'emotion' a female weakness and 'logic' a male strength?
Networking
1. Food is the best way to start building bridges. Coffee and chocolate are natural conversation starters.
2. Give folks a reason to give you 15 min of their time - long enough for a coffee, short enough that they don't feel the pressure...
3. My next living room will be a coffee shop :-)
4. For some, a handshake can be the only actual touch in a day. And people wonder why I prefer to hug...
5. Relationships are the heart of everything - from crisis mgmt to parenting to careers. It's all about people.
Leadership & Change
1. What are we doing today that we shouldn't be doing?
2. Having an interesting idea is not leadership. Getting folks to try that idea is!
3. Voicemail is not a productivity tool - floating messages across sea of coffee works faster.
4. Persuasion is a great leadership skill even if it's also practiced by con artists.
5. Isn't true leadership: finding the greatness in others and helping them use it?
6. Does the end justify the motivation?
7. My debate today: Change needs a catalyst but does the catalyst define the change?
8. Would you rather follow a cause or a person?
9. Discomfort with change doesn’t make change go away.
10. True leadership, like parenting, sometimes means sitting in the backseat ...far from the controls and trusting the student driver.
11. Critical thinking needs creativity.
Mentoring
1. Intense discussions are best held in daylight.
2. Someone who insists they're always 'right' will ‘miscommunicate’ with you a lot. A bottle of Shiraz will not help them change their mind.
3. What spurs more personal growth - pain or joy? Tradition says pain but then why are so many folks caught in past hurts?
4. Don't wanna be known as 'original'...everyone is original...wanna be 'sincere, intelligent, talented, effective and interesting'!
5. Take flight - the best ideas come when you're in mid-air
6. We can't strengthen our ideas if we only talk with folks who agree with us.
Wishing everyone joy to share and community to spare.
Fast forward to 2011 and the rise of Twitter. We're learning to introduce ourselves with "elevator pitches" and be pithy in 140 characters or less. I'm becoming a big fan of the concise!
Below is a list of the Similar Circles philosophy done in Twitter-sized bites:
Women
1. I'd rather wear heels than date them.
2. Not having women around your leadership table is like having only third basemen on your baseball team. Or only eating with a knife.
3. Employees and customers are the same people. Women are employees and customers, not an afterthought or third consideration.
4. Being 'thin' is worth more salary for women? But my brain is so fat!!
5. It's never too late to speak up - icky things mostly grow in dark quiet places - raise your voice and make it harder for ick!
6. Why is 'artist' a less respected way to earn a living than 'engineer'? Why is 'emotion' a female weakness and 'logic' a male strength?
Networking
1. Food is the best way to start building bridges. Coffee and chocolate are natural conversation starters.
2. Give folks a reason to give you 15 min of their time - long enough for a coffee, short enough that they don't feel the pressure...
3. My next living room will be a coffee shop :-)
4. For some, a handshake can be the only actual touch in a day. And people wonder why I prefer to hug...
5. Relationships are the heart of everything - from crisis mgmt to parenting to careers. It's all about people.
Leadership & Change
1. What are we doing today that we shouldn't be doing?
2. Having an interesting idea is not leadership. Getting folks to try that idea is!
3. Voicemail is not a productivity tool - floating messages across sea of coffee works faster.
4. Persuasion is a great leadership skill even if it's also practiced by con artists.
5. Isn't true leadership: finding the greatness in others and helping them use it?
6. Does the end justify the motivation?
7. My debate today: Change needs a catalyst but does the catalyst define the change?
8. Would you rather follow a cause or a person?
9. Discomfort with change doesn’t make change go away.
10. True leadership, like parenting, sometimes means sitting in the backseat ...far from the controls and trusting the student driver.
11. Critical thinking needs creativity.
Mentoring
1. Intense discussions are best held in daylight.
2. Someone who insists they're always 'right' will ‘miscommunicate’ with you a lot. A bottle of Shiraz will not help them change their mind.
3. What spurs more personal growth - pain or joy? Tradition says pain but then why are so many folks caught in past hurts?
4. Don't wanna be known as 'original'...everyone is original...wanna be 'sincere, intelligent, talented, effective and interesting'!
5. Take flight - the best ideas come when you're in mid-air
6. We can't strengthen our ideas if we only talk with folks who agree with us.
Wishing everyone joy to share and community to spare.
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