Stress relief & networking

I had a glorious massage. At the end of an afternoon, I was nothing more than a well-worn, fine piece of velvet left to dry gently in the sun. 

Then I returned to my life. I went from velvet to rusty scouring pad at the speed of light.

Both networking and stress relief should be a daily occurence. 

Networking	Stress  Relief
Daily activity	Daily activity
Must be done with someone	Can be done alone or with someone
Can reduce stress during tough times	Can reduce stress immediately
Requires contact information (depending on connection)	Requires medical history (depending on treatment)
Often free	Sadly, is not always free
Requires trust	Same
Has long term benefits	Same

Pledge to add 15 minutes per day for stress relief activities (meditation; a walk; etc.) with a few large activities like a massage thrown in. Combine networking and stress relief where possible and treat ourselves the way we try to treat our networks: with care and respect.

Why mentor? to learn vulnerability...

A room of us were recently asked: Why mentor?

Silence descended for a moment.

The first hand went up. "Because it's good to give back." Heads nodded.

"Because we learn in return." More nods.

"Because it helps everyone's career."

"Because you don't know how to mentor, until you try!"

Everyone was warming up to the topic at this point, so our moderator asked: And what makes a good mentor?

"Experience."

"Knowledge."

Silence.....

"Vulnerability," said one woman. "The willingness to explore, to be open, to share, to listen, to be wrong, to not lead but to simply be present."

By her definition, the greatest gift we can offer each other is vulnerability... which is, in a meaningful way, incredibly powerful.

Articulating values

Knowing your personal values is a start for understanding your reputation and prioritizing choices.

There are many exercises for finding your core beliefs and values. Below are suggested questions that could be used in a mentoring discussion to uncover key drivers in your own code of conduct.

1.     My chosen focus for my career is important to me today because…

2.    Being an X in the workplace brings these challenges…

3.    Being an X in the workplace offers these opportunities…

4.     Today, I am motivated first and foremost by (pick one)

a.     Money

b.     Recognition

c.     Rewards

5.    My #1 skill is … and I am proud of that because it reflects…

6.     The soft skill I most want to improve... because…

7.    To meet future challenges, the workplace needs to evolve as…

8.     To me, work and life integration means…

9.    Leadership qualities I admire most are…because…

10.  If I won $10,00,000 tomorrow, I would be a ….because then…

11.  My proudest moment to date is… and reflects this core belief….

12.  A difficult moment this year is… and reflected the injury to my core belief of…

13.  The three most important qualities a friend or peer can offer are…

14.  I hope my friends and peers would describe me as…

15.  I will never compromise on…

16. In others, I most admire…

Networking - a little maintenance every day

A well-maintained network is ready to help with a crisis - yours or someone in your circles. It has relationships that go beyond a filed business card. 

Some folks on LinkedIn have over 1000 contacts. There are many more who have between 3 - 50. Neither size of network is more successful than the other. There is no 'winning' the network pool. It all depends on how you maintain the network, not how you add to it. 

Maintaining a network can be done - like gardening - in big chunks or a little effort every day.

Feeding suggestions

• Send out interesting articles targeted to folks who might actually want to read them, one small group a day/week/month. 
• Remember the anniversaries and celebrations of those in your inner circles and participate where appropriate.
• Take folks out for tea once in a while. Or meet for a drink. A walk. A phone call.
• Make sure your contact information stays up-to-date or latest news gets broadcast. Not every event, just pieces that help folks track where you are and how to your interests continue to align.
• Say "thanks!" when someone helps you out.
• Solicit ideas from your network - even on small things - just to open a conversation.

Weeding suggestions

• Don't feel you have to respond to every call for help. Networking is not dependent on how much you put in but the quality of what you put in.
• Spend more time on those on your inner circle than outer. Cherish those who might cherish you back over expanding the frontiers of your network. (unless, of course, you have time for both)

Planting suggestions

• Follow up with new(er) contacts soon after you meet them so both of you can remember the context that prompted the connection.
• Make a coffee or drink into a threesome or fourseome!- you don't have to do everything one/one and sometimes it's fun to introduce new or interconnected folks.
• Solicit ideas from your network - even on small things - just to open a conversation.

There are tons of little things you can do every day without every attending a single networking event. Every meeting, phone call or email is an interaction that can build your network with sincerity and appreciation.