Monday, February 24, 2020

Dear Dennie #2 - mentoring 101

A monthly letter/column as written for & published also by Women in Transportation Services

Mentoring 101
Dear Dennie,

I have trouble speaking up at meetings. I was told to stand like Superman to get my confidence up. It didn’t work. Plus it was awkward to do it at a team meeting while everyone else was sitting. Any other advice?

No cape; no voice


Dear NCNV,

That is a great conversation to hold with your mentor: In what ways we are quieted? What holds our voice back?
Common fears include:
      Not being prepared
      Not knowing what to say
      People laughing
      Stuttering or other vocal slurring
      Hurting someone
      Boring someone

We may silence ourselves with fears or uncertainties, yet sometimes external factors keep us quiet. Others might try to silence us. (e.g. Don’t mention X; the executive hates X) We might allow ourselves to be silenced by following unspoken rules (e.g. I’m the junior in the room and should speak only when asked).

Ask yourself a few questions to help you decide:
1.    Is the information supportive of the agenda or other people involved in the conversation?
2.    Who needs to know I know that? Why?
3.    What’s more important at this particular moment – my comfort or my voice?

Choose to be silent. Others or your own worries should not choose for you.

Now, ask me anything.... :-)

dennie

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