Mentoring change - Part II

Every now and then, the world shifts and we have to scramble to catch up.

I'm talking about the big changes - the ones that catch you unaware and there's no plan, no control, no re-do button. The type of change that throws the 'known' into disarray and you have to rethink big portions of life to fit it all in. Welcome or unwelcome, change of this scale simply sweeps through. There's no plan or long runway; you just find yourself in the thick of it.

And yet you manage.

You use experience and crisis management. You call on a spirit of adventure and innovation. You rely on the community/network you have built and the folks also affected by the change.

This are true transformation moments. The moments for which the daily changes have prepared you. There are no right or wrong answers - only the ability to assimilate and adapt.

As a mentor, you can cheer, listen and share. As a mentoree, you can ask, question and share.

It's not about control; it's about taking a deep breath and participating.

10 Obstacles to Mentoring

We all try to do the right thing... but sometimes when we're rushed, shortcuts and habits can get in the way. Here's my list of things to remember when mentoring:

1 - Telling: Am I simply giving the answer instead of encouraging exploration?
2 - Showing: Am I doing it for my mentoree instead of watching them try it their way first?
3 - Deciding: Am I proposing the solution instead of allowing a decision to come from debate and deliberation?
4 - Belittling Berating Mocking: Am I, in an attempt to be humourous, denigrading someone else's efforts?
5 - Me Me Me: Am I listening or pontificating?
6 - Unavailable Inaccessible: Am I too busy? pre-occupied? uninterested?
7 - One method: Do I believe there is only one answer? Do I start most sentences with "No..." or "Well, but..."?
8 - Sole source: Am I sharing my network and resources for further explorations? Am I trying to be the 'oracle'?
9 - No celebration: Do I remember to celebrate the steps & progress along the way?
10 - Fear: Am I afraid to make a mistake myself? Or admit I don't have the answer/experience to help directly?

What would you add to this list?

Coaching vs. mentoring

Both a manager and mentor will create dialogue, encourage you and correct you. However, while both your manager at work and your mentor "coach" you - there are some differences in the approach.

1.
Your manager will clarify your existing job & accountabilities for you.
Your mentor will explore broad career options.
2.
Your manager will create objectives for your current assignments.
Your mentor will encourage self-reflection and learning goals.
3.
Your manager will teach with a desire to have good performance on their team and for their projects.
Your mentor will ask questions and share personal anecdotes around perceived barriers, challenges & fears with only your development in mind.
4.
Your manager will support personal & career development - usually inside your organisation.
Your mentor will support personal & career development for anywhere you choose.
5.
Your manager will hold you accountable for following direction and achieving your objectives.
Your mentor will cheer you on, while pointing out when you are not being accountable to yourself.
6.
Your manager will assign actions.
Your mentor will suggest actions.
7.
Your manager will listen and escalate issues as they impact the team or project.
Your mentor will listen and keep information as confidential.
8.
Your relationship with your manager is fundamentally one of obligation, driven by your manager.
Your relationship with your mentor is fundamentally one of choice, driven by you.