Mentoring...revisiting definitions

The questions that come up most often are:
1 - What is mentoring?
2 - What's the difference between mentoring and what my manager does when they coach me?
3 - What's a mentor vs. a sponsor?
4 - Why mentor?
5 - Why be mentored?

All questions should have their answers re-visited ocassionally - sometimes the answers evolve; sometimes you need to reaffirm the answer; sometimes the question is prelude to a debate for which there is no single answer.

#1 - Is an developing area. In the past five years, mentoring has become a growing topic in the business arena while mentoring itself has been around for hundreds of years. (if not more) Google the topic. Form some opinions. There is no one answer.

#2 - There is a difference. A mentor is someone removed from your immediate/current situation and who is helping you look long-term. Asking your manager to mentor you is like asking your spouse to mentor you on parenting....

#3 - I don't think I've tackled this topic yet. A sponsor is someone who will be a positive reference and is willing to talk about you in situations where you may not be in the room yourself. Watch for my next posting.

#4 - You can only answer "why" for yourself. I wrote about some of the reasons here.

#5 - Again, it's a personal choice (unlike being coached by your manager). Be willing to do the work - it isn't up to the mentor to make it easy for you - especially if you only see your mentor four times a year. But I'm also just asking: why be mentored? Tell me...

National Mentoring Month is a great time to revisit some of the assumptions and conversations!

Why mentor? to learn vulnerability...

A room of us were recently asked: Why mentor?

Silence descended for a moment.

The first hand went up. "Because it's good to give back." Heads nodded.

"Because we learn in return." More nods.

"Because it helps everyone's career."

"Because you don't know how to mentor, until you try!"

Everyone was warming up to the topic at this point, so our moderator asked: And what makes a good mentor?

"Experience."

"Knowledge."

Silence.....

"Vulnerability," said one woman. "The willingness to explore, to be open, to share, to listen, to be wrong, to not lead but to simply be present."

By her definition, the greatest gift we can offer each other is vulnerability... which is, in a meaningful way, incredibly powerful.

Take a sick day

I don't mean play hooky, although that's another topic for another day. I mean: if you're feeling unwell, then stop and rest. (yes, that's my mom's voice)

I'm guilty of the keep-going-till-you-drop syndrome and ... well... it isn't working anymore. By the time the fever/ ache/ pain/ upset has reached epic proportions, it takes more than a day to recover. (and yet, we usually only give ourselves a day). My habit has been to go into work "just to see how I feel by lunch" (which is usually still lousy) and "power through it". I look like I should have a starring role in Old Yeller but no one notices because many others are doing the same pale, hangdog jive.

I think both men and women do this - though GenY seems to have this issue better in hand? Boomers and Xer's alike add this topic to the work/life balance discussion; it really belongs in the "hidden rules" dialogue.

I took my own advice yesterday. It was hard. I did answer email via my Blackberry in the afternoon, not wanting folks to be inconvenienced because of my illness. I still have to figure out if bed rest should or should not include electronic devices, handheld or not.