Debating is good

We can't strengthen our ideas if we only talk to people who agree with us.

Simplistic? Possibly. But when was the last time you - as a mentor or mentoree - sought out a dissenting opinion?  When did debate become a bad thing? Why is it necessary to dismiss the feedback of all nay-sayers?

Scientific theory thrives on attempting to disprove itself, not prove. (I won't attempt to explain Popper's theory but I recommend reading about it)

"Winning" the debate should not be about everyone agreeing or anyone being silenced. Marriage was defined for years as between a man and a woman and debate has brought us to a new(er) definition. Not all agree. Opinions are still forming in all areas, including mainstream. It was debate that was part of bringing about change.

Ideas are about change. Debate creates views into that change so we can manage the necessary adjustments with some foresight and perspective on the opinions helping/hindering transformation. 

Welcome debate. Listen to be heard even more strongly!

Say "Yes" for a day

Here's a way to twist your brain.

Try to go one whole day without saying "no". Try not to start a sentence with no. Try to not interrupt someone by saying no. Try not to say no when you mean and or but or hang on.

Try to consciously say "yes" instead.  "Yes and..."  "Yes if what you mean is..." "Yes, I will think about that." 

But if you can't manage not saying no - then see if you can spend the day agreeing with the ideas and opinions presented and build on them instead of pointing out the holes (shore them up instead of tearing them down), you'll find a lot more folks saying yes to you well past the day spent in a no zone!

Studies (and rumours) have shown that mentoring and networking is tied to competency & success. However, no one ever talks about the fact that mentoring isn't easy.

Mentoring poses a few problems:

1 - it’s hard to mentor. It’s hard to put a process (thought, procedure or administrative) to how you got somewhere or achieved something. It’s much harder if you’ve ever tried to repeat a specific success. And even harder when you understand how much personal style plays a factor.

2 - it’s hard to be mentored. It’s easy to get advice but much harder to take it. 

3 - most importantly - mentoring isn’t a guarantee of success. It’s not a magic pill or a silver bullet

However, it is also true that you will be more successful if you add mentoring. No one ever says "mentoring held me back!"