I can; I can't

It all boils down to two drivers: Passion; and Fear.

We make all our decisions from either caring about the outcome or fearing thoughts of poor outcomes. 

Excitement, strong beliefs, joy or other compelling emotion create passion and let us charge past doubt. Fear can seem like shame, avoidance, worry or other overriding emotion that creates hesitation.

Learn a new skill out of genuine interest or because a job or rating is at stake? I may buy a house because it’s my dream to have a space I own or because, while I have no desire to fix my own toilet, I am worried that housing will grow out of my price reach as a renter. Driving defensively to avoid an accident is fear-based and a great decision. Inventing something is usually from passion and getting past one's inner critic.

Like money, neither motivator one is good/bad; it’s all in how and why they are applied.

The problem arises when the majority of our decisions/actions appear to be a result of fear-based reasoning. We dwell on the possible catastrophes or downsides and allow opportunities (small and large) to slip away.

This is why change feels much harder and larger than the actual step required of us. Asking for mentorship can feel huge. Building a network can feel very outside our comfort zone.

We will feel what we feel but we can choose how we act – always. The question I ask myself at every career decision - daily or big picture - is: Is my comfort zone the better place to rest or is my career/plan more important? Either choice is fine but it must be a choice.

As a mentor– help dig into the why/why not conversation. Help the choice be deliberate vs. emotional.

As a mentoree– ask yourself “what’s the worst that can happen?” Make a plan to address these potential (and possibly improbable outcomes). Often when we have a plan, we worry less and can move forward.

Unboxing

There's so many boxes out there. Some are necessary. Some just get in the way. I am amazed/amused/astounded by the boxes we put around ourselves.

We have boxes about what we will/won’t eat, the music we will/won’t listen to, the jobs we will/won’t aspire to, the people we will/won’t find interesting, etc etc etc.

Recently, I challenged myself - I also have a list of things that define me because I will/won’t do them. Some are carefully chosen and some are just from habit or discomfort. I broke a few of my own ‘rules’ yesterday (and suffered through the ‘what have I done?’ moments). I realized this morning that no one had even noticed the changes and the only real impact is that my world-view is a bit broader.

The thing about rules is you have to ask yourself “What’s the worst thing that could happen if I do/don’t do X?” You then state the feared outcome and ask “What will I do if that should happen?” Amazingly, potential outcomes are less terrifying when we take the time to think through our options in advance. Even more amazingly, friends will wonder what took you so long to make the leap in the first place.

A sample conversation with myself often goes something like:
“What is the worst thing that could happen if I talk to a stranger?”
“They’ll laugh at me”
“So then?”
“So then I’d tell them to stuff themselves.”
“What’s the next worst thing.”
“They’ll reject me with a cutting comment.”
“So then?”
“So then I’d tell them it was obvious I’d wasted my valuable time.”
and so on.

I’m always a little shocked at how easy it is to do reverse-psychology on oneself…

So I’ve challenged my habits a bit this week.
Terrified? a little.
Unboxed? getting there.

Little changes to make today

It's the little changes that make the biggest difference.

• Saying "Yes, and..." instead of "no" or "yes, but..."
• Finishing a meeting 5 minutes before the allotted close time as a regular practice
• Smiling as you answer the phone
• Pushing away from the computer for 5 minutes every hour 
• Leaving "thank you" off the email sign off and instead as a genuine note after an action is completed
• Writing or doodling with a coloured pen/pencil to keep your brain firing during a meeting
• At end of day, remembering something you did correctly

Doing just one of these changes our mindset and, sometimes, that of those around us.
Mentoring ourselves is as important as anything else!

Providing a context

The management of most things is about providing a context - a report, a framework, principles, etc.

We need context or we will fill that void with our own stories. The "why" of decisions and the "how" of integrating the decision (or its consequence) is management.

That makes looking at change - personal or project - simpler. Sometimes the 'what' - the change itself - is out of our control. A context may not have us like it /agree with it any more than we already do but it will help us understand and accept / incorporate / act on it.

• If a parent changes a curfew, the teen is liable to make up their own reasons for the new requirement unless the context for the decision is shared.
• If a budget total seems inconsistent month to month, a report provides context for the variance.
• If new technology impacts a job, the principles its application will support adoption.

With context, a conversation can be held.

To manage, don't withhold context. To mentor, show how to create context by offering frameworks yourself.

Debating is good

We can't strengthen our ideas if we only talk to people who agree with us.

Simplistic? Possibly. But when was the last time you - as a mentor or mentoree - sought out a dissenting opinion?  When did debate become a bad thing? Why is it necessary to dismiss the feedback of all nay-sayers?

Scientific theory thrives on attempting to disprove itself, not prove. (I won't attempt to explain Popper's theory but I recommend reading about it)

"Winning" the debate should not be about everyone agreeing or anyone being silenced. Marriage was defined for years as between a man and a woman and debate has brought us to a new(er) definition. Not all agree. Opinions are still forming in all areas, including mainstream. It was debate that was part of bringing about change.

Ideas are about change. Debate creates views into that change so we can manage the necessary adjustments with some foresight and perspective on the opinions helping/hindering transformation. 

Welcome debate. Listen to be heard even more strongly!

Any resolutions?

It’s the new year and I’m trying to make a resolution around change. Do you have any recommendations as to how I could better myself?

signed

Newly-and-keenly-evolving-daily

Dear Naked,

You’re already perfect, Naked; it’s the world that’s rough around the edges. Here’s my resolutions for 2017; I hope they help!

1 – Be kind to those who still believe change is the exception and that one day everything will revert to “normal”.

2 – In the ongoing saga of work/life integration, I will simply remind people there are no silver bullets, only choices, and cheer everyone up by singing something from “Annie”.

3 – When the glass looks half empty, I will pour what we have into a smaller glass. 

4 – I will not give into the urge to panic that my career should be at "x" point already.

5 – I will cut my food into smaller pieces and chew more slowly. This can also be called "chunking projects".

6 – I will strive for genius as per the words of  Churchill "True genius resides in the capacity for the evaluation of uncertain, hazardous, and conflicting information."

Happy New Year!

Best of the season!

Would you agree that at least the holidays are a place where we should not worry about change?

signed,

Home and Hopeful for the Holidays

Dear Ho-Ho-Ho

Wishful thinking!  I assume you aren’t talking about the spare change to drop in the charity bucket or the need to rethink using tinsel once the cat shows you a sparkly tail?

Ho Ho Ho, change will happen; it’s the scale of change that may fluctuate. We probably won’t get a brand new assignment or see projects go “red” over the last two weeks of December. We will change our socks, cut back on working hours, and make some extra phone calls to family. Our days will be structured around different priorities even if our celebrations differ. Change is “relative” – especially over the holidays…

Take some joy in unexpected pleasures between now and New Year’s.  Re-evaluate routines to bring into 2017. Add some extra quiet time; take away some stress. Help others to do some of the same. Sometimes change is simply a different routine for a short while.

Best until 2017

Examining career choices

How do you know when it's time to re-examine career choices?

There is a lot of research that talks about a need for a catalyst to create change; we don't naturally seek it ourselves. This means that most of us wait until either we are dissatisfied with the current situation or a big event comes along that changes our perspective.

If that's the norm, why ask the question? There are two reasons why it's worth getting ahead of ourselves:

1. By the time we're dissatisfied or pushed to find an alternative, we're often feeling pressed for time or at a disadvantage. Either scenario doesn't allow for planning and reflection; it mostly calls for immediate action.
2. It should be the norm to reflect on our career, to ensure we're still engaged with our weekly tasks, to see if we are making progress against our definition of success. Otherwise, we're drifting with the current and not necessarily engaged in the moment.

Re-examining your choices doesn't mean the choices will be any different. Maybe it confirms them. Perhaps it allows for a tweak vs. an overhaul.

Choices should be active and periodically renewed. We renew our choices to stay in relationships, houses, activities, etc. and we should do the same with the items that take the most of our day - our careers & jobs.

It's always time to re-examine. It's not being unfaithful or uncertain; it's confirmation and assurance.

Which leads me to ask if resumes are up to date....

It's the new year and I’m trying to make a resolution around change. Do you have any recommendations as to how I could better myself?

signed

Newly-and-keenly-evolving-daily

Dear Naked,

You’re already perfect, Naked; it’s the world that’s rough around the edges. Here’s my resolutions for 2016; I hope they help!

1 – Be kind to those who still believe change is the exception and that one day everything will revert to “normal”.

2 – In the ongoing saga of resources vs  time vs money, I will simply remind people there are no extras of any of these things and cheer everyone up by singing something from “Annie”.

3 – When the glass looks half empty, I will pour what we have into a smaller glass. 

4 – I will not give into the urge to panic that work is well into the first quarter already.

5 – I will cut my food into smaller pieces and chew more slowly. This can also be called "chunking projects".

6 – I will strive for genius as per the words of Churchill: "True genius resides in the capacity for the evaluation of uncertain, hazardous, and conflicting information."

Happy New Year!

A holiday from change?

Would you agree that at least the holidays are a place where we should not worry about change?

signed,

Home and Hopeful for the Holidays

Dear Ho-Ho-Ho

Wishful thinking!  I assume you aren’t talking about the spare change to drop in the charity bucket or the need to rethink using tinsel once the cat shows you a sparkly tail?

Ho Ho Ho, you’re in the wrong career and century! Change will happen; it’s the scale of change that may fluctuate. You probably won’t get a brand new assignment or see projects go “red” over the last two weeks of December. You will change your socks, cut back on your working hours, and make some extra phone calls to family.  Change is “relative” – especially over the holidays…

Take some joy in unexpected pleasures between now and New Year’s.  Re-evaluate routines to bring into 2016. Add some extra quiet time; take away some stress. Help others to do some of the same. Sometimes change is simply a different routine for a little while.

Best until 2016

Change is no laughing matter?

I think humour is an essential part of planning and managing change.

Let’s assume we are all good at our jobs. Let’s also assume our jobs are not simple. Understanding when to laugh is like evaluating risk – if it’s all BIG and all RISKY, teams and projects would quickly become paralyzed.

As a leader, you need to help your folks blow off steam. Depending on your style, that can take many forms; humour is a recommended outlet.

Here’s a starter kit of jokes for you:

• Any project can be estimated accurately (once it's completed).
• Nothing is impossible for the person who doesn't have to do it.
• At the heart of every large project is a small project trying to get out.
• Right answers to wrong questions are just as wrong as wrong answers to right questions.
• Of several possible interpretations of a communication, the least convenient is the correct one.
• How many change managers does it take to change a light bulb?
  How many do you have? – we’d like to hold a meeting to discuss all the ramifications of the change.
  None, it’s better to keep employees in the dark.
  "You were supposed to have changed that light bulb last week!"

And check out these cartoons:  http://grantland.net/change1.htm

Make ‘em laugh – thanks Donald… http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x4obs5_singin-in-the-rain-donald-o-connor_fun

I predict… change…

2015  - we're still early in the century and already the last 15 years have seen changes (good & bad) of global proportions similar to the scale seen early in the 20^th century. The world doesn't stop spinning and neither does the human race. Avoiding change is as useful and practical as not breathing.

Knowing change will happen:

Assume change means it will possibly be unexpected

If you only like predictability, don't go for weather forecasting, stock trading or planning your evenings based on the TV Guide

Prepare for change

Whether you keep lists, go for counseling, practice positive questioning or simply have spare batteries in the junk drawer – do what makes you feel more mentally/emotionally prepared to accept the unexpected

Laugh in the face of change

Because, really, it's amusing when it's not happening directly to you

Advocate change

Look like a forward thinker. Call it disruptive or continuous improvement; just see the glass as half full and encourage others to feel better about it.

Change something

Your wardrobe. Your hair. Your job. Your self-talk. Your eating habits. Pick something in your control and do it the way you've always really wanted to do it.

Change is living life day to day and knowing each decision is a point in time with the information you have at that moment.

You take your skills wherever you go

I've got a new job and it's very exciting; it's been a while since I've been in a position where I didn't know what I was doing. I am finding it exhilarating!

Day four and what I've most noticed is... that while I may not understand the nuance and tasks associated with the business and the job, the skillset I have is exactly the right fit for the job. Too often we get caught in the details, worrying that the specifics are missing. It is really the big picture into which we need to fit; everything else falls into place with time and experience.

Actually, I did the very thing I coach others to never do. As the job was described to me, I said "Hey, I know some great folks to send you who will be terrific!"
"Why not you?" I was asked.
"Oh no... I could only do a third of the job competently," I replied.

sigh.
Even the mentors forget their training occasionally.

Am I immediately useful to my new manager? Yes. Because I understand the critical thinking necessary for success in delivering what he wants. So I can ask good questions even if I don't have access or understanding of the specifics yet. Risk, controls, cost, people, behaviours, etc. are all still valid questions. In answering these questions, the entire teams drives to a deeper and stronger solution.

I might not be able to propose solutions at this point but I certainly can contribute thoughtful questions. That's a habit to keep, new in the job or not.

Use the senses

It is amazing what sense memory kids have. A snowflake on the tongue lasts a lifetime.

It is equally amazing that we assume kids are the only ones to experience /re-experience sense memory. How many of us re-caught a snowflake in the first paragraph?

Sense memory can be a terrific way to engage folks during change or a negotiation. Getting them to ‘feel’ a vision can create an easier path to buy-in. Talking about a project roadmap and projecting the image of a hiking trail… or asking for a budget for a bakery and offering a taste of the product… negotiating a new car and bringing the lipstick in red to represent the paint job… it all triggers memory, emotion and participation (though you can’t always control if the memory is a good one).

Augusto Boal made the world sit up, bringing his audience’s senses into the performances that passed into Brazillian bills of law. Mixed Theatre Company follows his footsteps here in Canada. Executives and sales people do it every day with product samples, music, question & answer periods, town halls, working dinners and hand written thank you cards.

Engage your network with something to touch, to hear, to taste… use metaphors; send cards; break bread. Spread the message across the senses.

What the heck is innovation?

Innovation seems to be the new “it” word. It’s not a new concept. Possibly innovation being in fashion is due to the practice business has of using a word as a solution instead of digging into root causes and desired outcomes.

Like creativity, innovation can be a daily habit or a scary proposition. It is not owned by any one industry, department or function. It is more than a word – it’s a mindset and approach.

An online business dictionary simplifies the term as: “The process of translating an idea or invention into a good or service that creates value.” http://www.businessdictionary.com/definition/innovation.html#ixzz2pupfDpuA

My issue with that definition is that innovation cannot be broken into a simple checklist and handed off for execution. The definition avoids the behavioural /thinking component that managers, wishing to get to end of job quickly, prefer to dodge.

“Innovation differs from improvement in that innovation refers to the notion of doing something different rather than doing the same thing better.”  http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Innovation  Doing something differently can be mindset and/or process. As change specialists know, you can’t just change the process and expect things to be magically better.

Innovation, however the discussion starts, can only serve to bring back more critical and wholistic thinking…something many have moaned has been sorely lacking in a subject matter expert culture focused on short-term and silo’d approaches.

Does it fit into your view of your work in 2014?

Linda Naiman's Whole Brain Thinking workshop

This week I am attending Linda Naiman's "Whole Brain Thinking: Cultivate 21st Century Creativity & Leadership" at Royal Roads U. It is a full two-day workshop examining creativity, neuroscience and the enterprise, starting with change at the personal level.

We started with the statement "If you always know everything, you never learn." It is challenging to seek out your own assumptions and biases at the best of times. When it comes to the personal space of creativity, where many feel insecure, emotional ties to ideas can run high. To then attempt to bring a holistic mindset of possibilities into an organization can seem like career suicide.

Yet disruptors - technology, visionary, social - mean the 21st century is a marketplace about possibilities. To not explore innovative and alternative ideas /mindsets /approaches is the real bringer-down-of-thrones.

I am not entirely sure what an enterprise model for innovation and creativity could look like from a practical standpoint. It will need to be begin with changing behaviours and expectations that imagination should be part of our job descriptions in every case /level /industry. Our concepts of R&D need to be challenged. We need a common lexicon. We might both say "blue" (innovation) and see different shades /meanings. The model will need buy-in at the top and bottom. It will require trust and autonomy. It will mean guidelines and not rules.

Just thinking about the possibilities is making me itch to figure it out!

Why do it? Why build community?

Why start anything? Is it need? Desire? Passion? Emergency? Boredom?

Geeta Sheker, Director for the Rotman Initiative for Women in Business, asked me “Why did you start on this path?” Like many, I started in order to help myself. I needed to get out of the holes I kept falling into – poor job situations, unable to look ahead because today took all I had, single parenting – you know the list or someone who has one just like it. My issues were partially because of societal issues for women, partially because of circumstances and mostly because I am far too independent and unable to ask for help. Being unable to ask for help isn’t about gender or situation; it’s simply pride, stubbornness and fear.

There I was, running 103 temperature with flu and all its disgusting side effects, with a three year-old running the same symptoms. He was on one side of my bed with a bucket beside him and I was on the other with mine. We were relatively new to the city and knew no neighbours, had no family or friends who lived nearby. I had no ginger ale, no soup, no crackers and no ability to go out and get any in the frozen February arena that is a Canadian city in the winter.

It was one of those Gone with the Wind moments. Had I had the strength, I would have raised my fist to the sky. Instead I lifted my head from the bucket and groaned “I never want to feel this isolated again.” (at least I meant to groan that; I probably just muttered “this is awful” and rolled back on the pillow.) In that moment, doing it all myself was out of reach. It would not be the last time – not at home, not at work, not at play.

Fast forward seventeen years…when I broke my ankle last summer, there were people in the emergency room almost before I arrived. I had food and distractions delivered to my door that lasted four weeks. And then my friends got the news and even more arrived. It’s still hard to ask for help but, without that crucial skill and a community in which to participate, it would have been a much tougher break (pun intended).

Our motives are personal and varied. Our communities are diverse and strong for that very reason. It matters less why we reach to each other, only that we actively do.

Renovations & apologies

Renovations - as I've discovered - mean my internet connection is ripped out of the wall. Actually, for a few weeks, I had no walls. Then, when the walls went back, it took a few more weeks for the utilities people to be willing to step through the chaos, tools and debris to re-install the plugs.

In the meantime, my pre-arranged posts ran out.

My sincere apologies to all of you. I missed writing even more than I missed sleeping in my own bed. Renovating a house sucks. Blows. Is awful. Pick an an adverb.

Renovations seem to be the summer theme for many of us. Not everyone went as far as my little house with no walls, water or floors... but work, relationships/circles and careers seem to all be undergoing large change - some deliberate and some seasonal, some infrastructure (behind the walls) and some cosmetic.

I'm thinking through what change really means to me - how broadly to embrace it and how to find emotional space when change is very large and/or encompassing multiple fronts. Any and all ideas welcomed!

What does it mean to learn?

Are you a continuous learner? What does it mean to learn?

• Investing in a new/deeper skill you can immediately apply?
• Finding a question for which you will have fun searching for an answer (if one exists)?
• Keeping an open mind?
• Taking courses?
• Asking "why"?
• Asking "how"?
• Asking "how come"?

Is the desire to learn equivalent to the act of learning?

I'm not sure that folks truly want to learn. Learning, to me, implies open a door to the unknown and being prepared to change things or have them change you as a result. That potential scale of unleashed change can be terrifying - especially if applied every day. Learning implies change. Most folks want to taste /try /explore something new or unknown and then bring it back to the familiar.

Should we want continous learning and change? Status quo is the birthplace of measurement, comfort, process and other words that bring order and stability. Change is innovation, surprises and creativity that mean uncertainty.

I'm all for continuous improvement - that space between status quo and change where things shift but in familiar patterns. I live my personal life in chaos and creativity while my professional work is dedicated to helping folks through change to stability.

I believe our North American educational system is not based on how our brains actually take in information. I'm not sure we really know what we are asking when we reach for "learning"... possibly the place to start is simply having the conversation and asking: What does it mean to you to learn?

What is a good idea?

There are a lot of good ideas. There are even more "right" answers.  Sometimes the right answer can become the wrong one as circumstances change or time passes. Relationships, strategies, self-awareness... all the endless combinations are constantly shifting. This is why change is constant and Big Change will always come around.

So how does one know if one has a good idea? Assume most ideas are good and have value. It is often their timing that might not be ideal.

The questions to ask are really:

• Is this the right idea for the identified circumstances and people who will be implementing it? (e.g. if you have only have $5, and it's a $20 idea... or throwing a surprise party for someone who hates surprises)
• Can this idea be used effectively in the manner for which it is intended? Will it translate to actions well? (e.g. teaching a group of 5 year olds to bake & ice a layer cake...)

 Throw your ideas out there. Be prepared to pull them back if they don't fit but don't throw them away. Instead, throw out lots of ideas; collect the biggest basket of ideas you can. Just ask the right questions to select the best idea.