Persuasion vs. influence

We use the words interchangeably yet they are not the same.

Persuasion is the use of of words to make a compelling argument. It is often delivered through direct approach.

Anyone can try to be persuasive. We attempt to persuade people every day, in situations from sharing facts, our opinions, and preferences. Persuasion can be part of negotiation; a job interview is an attempt to convince someone they want us for the job. Asking for mentorship is often making a compelling pitch as to what a mutually beneficial relationship could bring.  Written or oral, carefully crafted or off the cuff, persuasion happens every day.  Persuasion is communication.

Influence is a combination of social status, power, relationships, trust, track record and other items that create brand. Influence is usually felt indirectly and over time.

Influencers are sought in the work place as mentors, project fixers and thought leaders. It takes more than a network to become an influencer. Influence implies excellent communication, strong relationships, forward thinking and credibility / trust.  Influence can be used to manipulate or to create bias.

Both persuasion and influence can be affected by word choice, biases, relationships, power/ control, and communication style.

Talk with your mentoring partner. Think of the difference as you expand or share your network. Build your skills in these arenas.

Persuasion

Persuasion is a simple word that has neither good nor evil implications. The dictionary lists: "...the act of causing people to do or believe something..."

Persuasion can be achieved through:

• debate
• argument 
• discussion
• trust & patience
• persistence 
• influence

and other approaches spanning an emotional and intellectual range as varied as snowflakes.

We have all done much of the list and probably more. Anyone with kids knows they are quick studies in techniques aimed at being persuasive.

Often, the first time we meet, we are trying to persuade each other to accept a new friendship / see an opportunity / hear a story, etc. We negotiate and persuade every day. It is a common communication approach.

Only when the discussions stop should we worry. When arguments are presented as facts, when only one side gets to talk, when choice is removed...then it isn't persuasion it is force. As employees we may be given direction but we retain our right and ability to influence. As family members, there may be house rules but we can negotiate. As communities, we can debate with other communities to create shared understandings. As a mentor, I can only offer but never demand.

Persuasion and empathy might be the two hot skills for 2017.