End of Year activities

1 – Google yourself

What’s out in the nether-space about you? Do you know? Check news, photos, and web.

2 – Send a year-end note to your communities

It’s paper-saving and acceptable to send personalized emails in place of cards to those in your outer circles. Let them know you remember who they are and include a link or article that might contribute to their new year’s thoughts.

3 – Clean up your inbox

Respond to those emails and invitations or delete them.

4 – Update your skills and accomplishments

In LinkedIn or your resume or anywhere you have a profile that matters to you.

5 – Enjoy a little time that has no purpose but to refresh you

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May the new year bring you fresh ideas, inspiration and support

Sponsorship - troubleshooting

How do I turn a non-supporter into a sponsor – or at least neutralize those saying negative things about me?

First, ask if the person is actually enough of an influencer that it matters to you or your communities what they say. My ex-hubby is always going to be a fan of my art and a non-fan of me as a partner and I’m good with that. J

If it does matter, then avoid the “they say/ I say” where you give differing stories to the same listeners. Instead, consider sitting down with the other person and asking the following:

“What would it take for you to either believe in me /that I can do X?”

While you might not ever get them to be a fan, you can at least ask how you can correct any negative impressions they might hold. Be careful not to ask for their opinion and then explain to them why they are wrong… Perhaps listen and ask again “What can I do to help shift your perception?”

Sometimes that simple gesture is all it takes. It’s a scary step but often well received.

We talk with mentors regularly. How often should we talk with sponsors?

Often, you have a relationship with the person outside of their sponsorship. Let that relationship be the guide vs. having to remind them that you count on them as a sponsor as well.

For those in a professional context with whom you only have occasional contact because sponsoring you upon request is your only reason to interact, then include them on your updates (monthly, quarterly, etc.) of keeping in touch/ articles / ‘thought you’d like to know’ that you share with your network in general. Be sure to note any of your sponsors’ changes in jobs or accomplishments along the way and send a note /give a call in support. (sponsors love sponsorship too)

How do I let folks know I’d be willing to be their sponsor?

When you praise or thank someone, let them know that if there are places where they promote that particular project, skill or attribute, that you’d be willing to be a reference. Be clear if your sponsorship is active or passive (see previous post). Most folks will not turn you down.

Sponsorship – you may already have it but do you know what it is?

Let’s start with what we know.

Studies have shown countless times: the most trusted communicator and biggest aspect of employee retention is a good people manager. How many of us have used a trusted people manager as a reference and ongoing place for ‘checking in’?

Most of us have a manager – short of running your own small company, there is someone to whom you must answer for your activities, productivity and results.

Some of us also have sought mentors beyond our managers and friends with good advice. Not as common, not a role as well understood, not something we think to offer or use on an ongoing basis.

Today, we hear a lot about sponsors. Like mentors, we sort of know the two things might be linked. There are books saying how we need them. Personal brand seminars urge you to identify them. Companies or artists might see sponsors as a means for financial supplements on top of bank loans or grants.

We have all used references. These are people who we hope will talk to our strengths and help us land projects and positions we desire. Or fix us up with nice dates. Or sign our passport applications. Or help get our applications approved.

Let’s look at career sponsorship. Many of us have given references. The call comes a day before: “Can you be a reference? Just tell them how it was to work with me!” “Sure,” we say. “No problem. You know I’m a fan.” We might check the rules our workplace has about providing references to past employees  - or we might be doing it as a personal favour for someone with whom we worked at another company – or it might be an internal reference. “Joey is great; you can’t go wrong with Joey!”

Mentors and sponsors – the search for the magical silver bullet of attaining a great career or coveted “in” seems a cheerleading squad away.

Seems simple; so why all the questions?

The meaning of words

“Mentoring,” “coaching,” and “sponsorship” are common terms; we need to be clear about what we are seeking and why.

Let’s spend a moment reviewing mentoring vs. coaching.

A direct manager, even with genuine concern for supporting a worker to a promotion or new assignment, is first and foremost occupied with – and accountable for - getting the current job or assignment done to the best of the employee’s and team’s abilities.

This can create uncertainty of where the mentoring relationship fits/does not fit in the workplace; it can feel in direct opposition to the manager’s immediate performance needs.

Mentoring puts the work and the success back on the mentoree. The mentoree owns their actions and decisions at all times. They choose – or don’t – to take the advice or challenges given by their mentor. They are answerable to no one but themselves on their progress. The mentoree sets the direction and the mentor guides.

Both a manager and mentor will create dialogue, encourage you and nudge you. However, while both your manager at work and your mentor "coach" you - there are some differences in the approach.

Manager - coaching	Mentor - coaching
Direct or indirect reporting line	No direct or indirect reporting line
Clarify your existing job & accountabilities for you	Explore broad career options
Create objectives for your current assignments	Encourage self-reflection and goals
Teach to have good performance on their team and for their projects	Ask questions around perceived barriers with only your development in mind
Support personal & career development – usually inside your organization	Support personal & career development for anywhere you choose
Hold you accountable for following direction and achieving your & their team objectives	Cheer you on, while pointing out when you are not being accountable to yourself
Assign actions	Suggest actions
Listen and escalate issues as they impact the team or project	Listen and keep information as confidential
Fundamentally one of obligation, driven by your manager	Fundamentally one of choice, driven by you

 So what does a sponsor do?

A sponsor is there to support choices you’ve made with your manager or mentor – or perhaps as a result of your own self-reflection. They might question your choices to better understand them but ultimately their role is to work with you to plan how best to use their influence to get what you seek.

A sponsor is part of your PR campaign; a sponsor is your billboard. A sponsor reflects who you are and what you are seeking and backs those choices with their own brand.

So when does sponsorship come into play?

Any time; all the time.

The first time you went after a babysitting job and needed to reassure a nervous parent that you could be trusted not to empty the fridge or host an impromptu party or the time you wanted to join your first volunteer board – you have been using sponsorship in some form.

Why do I need sponsors?

It is a frame of reference that provides reassurance and context when forming a new relationship.

You have probably already needed supporters and references throughout your career. We need someone to speak up for us at any time – from informal introductions to expand our networks, to new teams looking to understand each other, to job searches, to finding a mentor.

Who can be a sponsor?

Anyone can be a sponsor; even those you think might not hold obvious power/influence. If someone is willing to stand up for you and support your brand that can have a powerful impact. Think of a person who reported to you who would publicly state they would be willing and eager to do it again or the peer who sent a note of praise or thanks.

A sponsor – according to the Mirriam -Webster dictionary is:

1:  one who … undertakes responsibility for the person's religious education or spiritual welfare

2:  one who assumes responsibility for some other person or thing

3:  a person or an organization that pays for or plans and carries out a project or activity

According to the Free Dictionary, a sponsor is:

1. One who assumes responsibility for another person or a group during a period of instruction, apprenticeship or probation

2. One who vouches for the suitability of a candidate for admission…

5. One that finances a project or an event carried out by another person or group

 Let’s think of a sponsor as someone vouching for a candidate’s suitability or backing a person’s idea or project in some fashion.

Where do I find sponsors?

Everywhere.

A sponsor can come from beside, below or above you and, sometimes, even outside your circle.

We are observed every day: the kind word you have for the coffee barrista who starts remembering your favourite drink; the other team who had to do the project your team’s way and were allowed a voice (or not) in some other way; the eye rolls; smiles; promises (kept or not) – it is not just the big end results but our walk along the way that is noted, filed and discussed. You might be surprised how many folks have an opinion about you, your work and your attitude /ethics /character.

A sponsor is someone who knows you and on whom you can rely to spread your story the way you wish it to be told. A sponsor is someone you trust and who trust the foundation and consistency of your actions.

As well, you can have multiple sponsors at any time; it is not an exclusive relationship – which is why you can also sponsor more than one person.

However, there are a few building blocks which should be in place before you start asking people to be a sponsor. Like any role, it becomes simpler if accountabilities and expectations are discussed and defined.

1 – Identify the types of sponsorship you are seeking

Understand and negotiate with your sponsors the type of sponsorship you are seeking at any particular point in time. Permutations will reflect both parties and can change over time.

To the extent that you both agree is possible, your sponsor can be any or all of the following:

• Advocate – speaking on your behalf
• Fan – cheerleader, believer
•  Reference – thoughtful feedback and character opinions
• Patron – financial or other type of backer
•   Champion – campaigner, activist
• Supporter – positive place in your network
•  Mentor  (or ex-mentor) – working with you to define long-term goals

A sponsor can also be active or passive.

• An active sponsor will talk about you without being prompted and may seek opportunities to reference you in a conversation.
• A passive sponsor will wait to be approached before offering their insight /experience /opinion.

Depending on your requirements, you will need to ensure your sponsors agree to take on an active role. If you have been a sponsor, you probably waited for the phone to ring and did not necessarily go out and beat the bushes to extoll the virtues of the person you were sponsoring. The onus for building a brand still falls to the person being sponsored.

2 – Remember that sponsorship is a relationship requiring care & feeding

I believe mentoring is:

·         Building a community for others

·         Relationship-based

·         Collaborative

·         Fluid and inclusive

The heart of successful mentoring and excellent sponsorship is therefore in the relationship.  Like dating, sponsor relationships don't always work out.

Sometimes the chemistry just isn't there; the two people involved just don't understand each other. Maybe neither can agree on a definition of "sponsorship" or what actions are required. Maybe someone is just looking to do superficial approaches when the other is looking for substance.

Sponsorship is an activity driven by the sponsor and sponsored, requiring action as well as trust by both.

Be true to yourself. Be ready to do some work (on either side of the relationship). Be prepared to date a little if necessary.

3 – Know your brand; arm your sponsors

In the past, for many of us the approach to sponsorship was: do good work; hope people say nice things about it. As we become more mindful about our careers and lives, it makes sense to become more thoughtful about how we create support for our aspirations.

When looking for sponsorship, you can offer:

• Exact purpose of sponsorship (general /ongoing or particular /time-boxed)
• Specific skills, traits or attributes you wish to be mentioned
• Adjectives & adverbs you want as your descriptors
• Timelines in which sponsorship will (or will not) be useful
• A request for active or passive support
• A discussion to ensure your sponsor is actually comfortable with the request
• An ‘elevator speech’ about you and/or what you’re seeking
•  A view to how sponsorship might be mutually beneficial

It is like writing your personal ad with (or for) your sponsor. This helps your sponsor feel more confident that they can support you properly and for you to be comfortable with what might be said.

Why does any of this matter?

According to the US Department of Labor, the average worker changes careers three to five times. As well, a 2008 study by the US Department of Labor cites a person will change jobs every 4.1 years, making it seven to ten jobs across the multiple careers. Some of us have changed twice that much already and are not yet done in our careers. We need sponsorship as a tool in our tool box to build the lives we can value.

Mentoring and sponsorship require time and effort; great mentoring and sponsorship require us to take accountability for our own desires and careers. Our lives are all about relationships, choices and dreams; as those carve a trail both behind and before us, our personal stories form. Sponsorship is a means to spread our story and share the stories of others. Sponsoring and being sponsored is another tool by which we build community.

Building community is how we flourish – however we define success.

Linda Naiman's Whole Brain Thinking workshop

This week I am attending Linda Naiman's "Whole Brain Thinking: Cultivate 21st Century Creativity & Leadership" at Royal Roads U. It is a full two-day workshop examining creativity, neuroscience and the enterprise, starting with change at the personal level.

We started with the statement "If you always know everything, you never learn." It is challenging to seek out your own assumptions and biases at the best of times. When it comes to the personal space of creativity, where many feel insecure, emotional ties to ideas can run high. To then attempt to bring a holistic mindset of possibilities into an organization can seem like career suicide.

Yet disruptors - technology, visionary, social - mean the 21st century is a marketplace about possibilities. To not explore innovative and alternative ideas /mindsets /approaches is the real bringer-down-of-thrones.

I am not entirely sure what an enterprise model for innovation and creativity could look like from a practical standpoint. It will need to be begin with changing behaviours and expectations that imagination should be part of our job descriptions in every case /level /industry. Our concepts of R&D need to be challenged. We need a common lexicon. We might both say "blue" (innovation) and see different shades /meanings. The model will need buy-in at the top and bottom. It will require trust and autonomy. It will mean guidelines and not rules.

Just thinking about the possibilities is making me itch to figure it out!

10 steps for presentation nerves

1 - Breathe.

Really. Sounds simple but usually we hold our breathe when nervous. You’ll sometimes see me put my hand on my belly button when presenting to remind myself to breathe deeply.

2 – Smile.

Most folks are not looking for mistakes. They’re looking for you to succeed. They’re on your side.

3 – Look at their eyebrows.

Eyes are distracting. When you look at eyebrows it looks like you’re looking people in the eye but you’re not ;-)

4 – Take your time.

A 5 second pause feels like eons to the speaker but only a breath to the listener. Try it.

5 – Know who are your allies.

Look at them. See them smile and nod back at you.

6 – Know your material.

Feel confident in your idea even if you’re not confident in your speaking.

7 – Give yourself permission to not be perfect

It’s ok to stumble or say “I don’t know; I’ll get back to you”

8 – Plant both feet when speaking.

Stand like a tree, rooted.

9 – Practice. A lot.

Do your presentation in a mirror. Laugh with yourself. Enjoy it.

10 – Breathe.

Anyone have more to add?

Creativity is literacy

Creativity is not a luxury. It is the heart of problem solving. It is the soul of ideas. Creativity makes both music and mathematics become art forms instead of remaining as skill sets.

Creativity is literacy in its highest form.

UNESCO has been busy analyzing and ranking the areas of their work by priority, with those areas that receive the lowest ranking being marked for elimination. The Creativity programme, within which arts education falls, was ranked at the very bottom of UNESCO's 48 priority areas and is at risk of elimination. Sign the petition if you can.

And please keep creativity alive, encouraged and cherished everywhere.

If you had a million....

If you had a million dollars and the only condition was that you could not spend it on yourself or your family, what would you spend it on?

For me that would include gifting a university, funding a women’s shelter, setting up a community event and probably treating random strangers to a hot beverage.

What if you had a million minutes to offer? That’s about 8 years of full-time (8hr days) volunteering which is what many folks can accomplish easily – either in a lifetime or after retirement. That’s still leaving time for friends, family and self.

There is formal volunteering (like my new 2 hours a month with the Cherie Blair Foundation) and informal such as dog walking for your neighbor who is ill or helping out with a school field trip.

The point is that we all have riches at our disposal to share with our communities for the causes that matter most to us. I will never have enough money to give it away; I do have time. While time is also a precious commodity, we become wealthier for how we spend it vs. keeping it.

Come back to earth once in a while

“They won’t understand; they are three times removed from the Mothership.”

This was a comment from a participant at a leadership workshop. She was pointing out, in her frustration, how often managers and executives float too far away in pursuit of a vision. The need to remain tied into the daily work necessary to keeping machinery oiled, and the mechanics necessary to do really successful project execution, are often overlooked in pursuit of the new and sexy.

“That executive no longer rides the bus.”

That was not a comment about the ‘special’ bus that makes the occasional stop for everyone. It was a reflection of the common references – the daily cultural influences – that are absorbed by reading subway posters, overhearing conversations or reading the dailies. This is a different view of the world around us than those who drive to work (or are driven). It’s not an incorrect view but it can create a divide in reference points.

“Our manager doesn’t know who we are or what we do.”

You can’t know everyone. I know I meet about 200 new folks a month and names escape me. But when your own team feels disconnected, it’s time to talk a walk /fly / call around the team. Host a coffee hour. Host a call. Host office hours where you are available for drop-ins.

We make an effort to connect with our friends, family and communities. Work is another network that needs care and feeding.

ILA Montreal - Friday

Friday came and went all too quickly.

It started with a wonderful presentation by Alice Eagly on re-framing the concept of the glass ceiling. Glass ceiling is deemed dated – reflecting only outside forces surrounding women in the workplace and not helping us examine those that come from within or even beside us.  I really enjoyed the exploration of gender roles vs. the typical leader stereotype and how neither view is helping either gender establish their real voice in the workplace.

I also learned a new word: agentic. I plan to use it in business meetings where everyone will nod sagely and yet no one will know what it means :-)

Then I attended a workshop on wise leadership. I suppose everyone has a different view on what makes a “workshop” but, in my opinion, it should include exploration by the audience for at least 1/3 of the discussion. Grumbling about the format aside, I did love how one presenter pointed out that leaders are not necessarily stupid…but they can be foolish!

I attended another workshop (where we did explore) on systems of leadership. It was fascinating to see that some folks in the room needed to be “right” more than they were willing to inhabit another viewpoint. The learning was less important to them than convincing others they had an answer. Fascinating to watch/listen!

Regardless of the presenters’ ability, strength of material or size of the session crowd – the real value of this conference became evident in the quality of the minds present and the strength of the discussions held in and around the sessions. The excitement as new ideas were found/challenged/merged was palpable in every room and at every break.

It was one of the few conferences where the evening discussions still focused on the themes of the presentations and not just on the social interactions /networking that also add value to these symposiums.

ILA Montreal - Thursday

More attendees. More choices. Yet, as one attendee remarked, a lot of similar content and repetition of presenters. There is a small hint of an "inner circle" and comfortable schools of thought.

None of that detracts from some stellar panels and papers. It does make my circle read the program more carefully and rethink some of our earlier choices.

Tonight's debrief at the bar (which was more about convenience at the hotel and less about the liquids) focused on the type of papers we would like to present. Theory needs to be balanced with practice - and not just the academic working world or the consultant world view, although those are fertile grounds for new thought and experimentation.

Today though saw some repackaging of decades old discoveries: that trust is a key leadership need for change adoption; online forums can't replace face to face relationships; women are not succeeding in the leadership space as well as men....

The forums are more competitive than collaborative; there is more emphasis on being "right" or 1st than there seems to be in driving to share knowledge across forums and institutions. Which is why my afternoon discussion, facilitated by Martha Miser of Aduro Consulting and Richard Warm from the Center for Wisdom in Leadership, was fascinating.  They truly opened the floor and a few minds.

Tomorrow, I think I will move away from the leadership theorists and listen to some issue-based material (gender, arts, interdisciplinary approaches). Plus there is a book room where I am sure more treasures and finds await!

ILA Montreal - precon

What a kick off for a great conference! The preconference sessions were all excellent....and that doesn't happen often.  Being here with several co-workers and a few friends, we had almost enough coverage to attend everything.

I was able to be part of an all-day session on Aprreciative Inquiry hosted by the pioneer herself, Amanda Trosten-Bloom. I plan to buy the books now and see if I can attend a full workshop.  I was able to immediately apply the principles and am already able to bring a new idea to work this coming Monday.

Others attended sessions on creativity, resilience, and challenges women can face as leaders. At dinner, not one voice in the crowd was silent.  We all had stories of great "aha!" moments and shared late into the evening. (yet I was the only one who was not on time today. sigh)

I will update this post with links next week. Meanwhile check out the ILA conference agenda and speakers and enjoy!

ILA Montreal

This week, I'm attending the International Leadership Association's conference, held for 2013 in Montreal (my home town!).

I've arrived a few days early to run some planning sessions for work and get to Simon's for their wonderful flannel sheets... maybe hit Scarpa or Chou Chou for footwear if my Vogs don't cause enough of a stir.

I'll be tweeting as "aha!"s strike and attempting to summarize the day here - after the socializing and before I fall asleep. If you're at the conference, please find me ...if the blue boots & red hair are not a great in-person indicator, please send me a direct tweet ; it is always a joy to expand the community!

The “aha!” moment

Is it a moment when you feel that you realize something (an accomplishment, a new idea) or is it more like a moment when you learn something about yourself or realized you grew as a result of an experience?

Yes.

(It’s fascinating - this need to pin everything /word /meaning to one exact intent. I think this is why the legal profession runs the world now, interpreting common sense and grey areas into financial gain for those who believe their interpretation was better.)

An “aha!” moment is when something prompts you to say “aha!” Why you say “aha!” might be different every time. It doesn’t matter why; it matters that we have the moment and note it.

Why note it? So you can decide if you wish to celebrate, change or repeat whatever made you say “aha!”

What is terrific about the “aha!” moment is that it is private and personal unless you choose to share. It’s the fire that lights us up. It’s the door opening to possibilities. It’s an end, beginning and middle.

“aha!”

Creativity

Everyone is creative. Everyone.

Keep in mind that there are two kinds of creativity:

1 – Bringing to light something net new /something from nothing – fewer of us do this

2 – Evolving something new from something existing – all of us do this

Problem solving is creativity. Advice is sharing past creativity. Mentoring reflects creativity.

Robin Altman of Radiate Coaching has a great video outlining the difference between creativity (problem solving) and being artistic (a talent like the ability to dance well).

Everyone can get better at creativity and everyone has the capability to develop their talents. Not all of us will evolve talent from chopsticks to Carnegie Hall… but there are many milestones between the two spaces.

When a mentoree (or mentor) says: “I can’t”… maybe they really mean: “I’m scared.” If you have passion for the subject, chances are you can advance your ability. Ask “why” or “why not?”  That simple conversation alone will lead to more creativity in your approach.

The “S” list

Exploring the different kinds of mentors there are... We either do these things for others or we seek them for ourselves.

Continuing with "S":

sediment-or:                Asks you to dig right to the bottom
segment-or:                 Helps you break down a problem into its components
sentiment-or:               Puts into words all that you’re feeling
settlement-or:              Peacemaker

solacement-or:             Empathizer
startlement-or:             Wakes you up
statement-or:               Takes your brand to new heights

supplement-or:            Provides further information

5 steps to saying "no"

Recently some folks have been asking me how to say no in a “better” way.

The recipe I find works the best is:

1 – Don’t start with the word “no”.

Because then folks immediately stop listening to anything else you have to say.

2 – Ask questions before you answer the request.

Even if you know you’ll say “no,” maybe there is more information you need.

Asking questions also helps you determine if they are asking because you are the secret sauce to success or because they need a warm body.

·         Why do you need my help vs. ___’s?

·         How does this help advance the agenda my team has?

3 – Make the questions open (How? Why? Explain?)

Once someone says “yes” or “no,” then the ball is back in your court. Keep them talking. Have them work out why they need you… or that it’s more hassle to explain it to you than ask someone else.

4 – Close by offering to help in some way.

·         I can ask a few folks for you but you’ll also have to keep asking. I’ll let you know immediately if someone volunteers.

·         I could read the document as an extra set of eyes when it’s done if that would help?

5 – Follow up with a short note that restates your close (#4).

Sharing a few articles I like on this topic.

http://99u.com/articles/7076/setting-boundaries-saying-no-nicely

http://idealistcareers.org/how-to-say-no-at-work-without-hurting-your-career/

http://www.askmen.com/money/career_250/264_say-no-to-extra-work.html

http://www.youtern.com/thesavvyintern/index.php/2013/08/03/the-right-and-wrong-way-of-saying-no-at-work/

http://blogs.hbr.org/2013/02/nine-practices-to-help-you-say/